The fear of growing up

The fear of growing up

I would be lying if I said, that the fact im growing up, and aren’t t 9 year old girl I used to be, wasn’t my mind 24/7. Growing up, is hard,as it also probably is for others my age. But its necessary, if we were all children world would be a mess. Growing up is,not only with age, but also within. With maturity, experience in different situations. The ways we handle certain situations, presented to us.

The worst part, about growing up

My mom no longer gives me goodnight kisses. The most exciting thing, isn’t playing with my LPS, or ponies anymore.

No more playing dress up with my friends, using my moms makeup secretly.

No longer taking my hour long baths. No longer waking up naturally at 7 am, to watch Disney channel

No longer sneaking more chocolate into my hot chocolate to make it sweeter. No longer riding my bike, or scooter till 9 pm outside, until it was chilly, and gloomy.

No longer going onto the trampoline the minute I got home. No longer lying I did my homework, so I can go out and play with my friends outside quicker.

Growing up, isn’t aging, its realizing

Growing up, is realizing what people meant when they said “enjoy these years while you can”, and while im still kind of young. I do miss those carefree days. Those days where my biggest worry, was missing watching Gumball, on cartoon network.

Growing up is realizing all of the cracks in your family, the fights, the drama. Realizing, and leering it by th hard way, that people ardent like they used to be when I was a little kid. Their backstabbing, fake and toxic. You’ll open up, and then they will make fun of you, tell everyone everything you have told them for popularity, for fun, or just out pf boredom.

Growing up, is worrying, that college 4 years away. That now, school really matters. That there’s no time, for going outside to play, there’s not time to watch my favorite series

Growing up, is not being able to play with dolls again, do certain things which are considered “childish”, because ill get laughed at.

The realization

Its realizing,hat life, isn’t sunshine and rainbows. That with those sunshine and rainbow days, come the stormy, gloomy days.

Nobody really prepares you enough for that realization. For all the realizations, that once you meet a certain age, you just cant do certain things. That you used to do, and really there’s nothing th a 12 year old playing with dolls. But society has changed things. They’ve made it seem like its immature.

The realization, that not all people are nice. That you have to do so much, sacrifice so much, to fit the beauty standards of society, to fit in at school, to have friends, to not be bullied.

That people laugh, and make fun of you, fo being you. That sometimes, you’ll just want to cry our eyes out, for no reason.

That school gets so pressuring you can do anything else, or focus on anything. They don’t prepare for that, and I don’t think anything really can.

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