Being alone, can make us feel all sorts of different emotions. Whether they are isolation, peace of mind, loneliness, freedom, happiness and joy, or sadness and misery. When we are by ourselves, the mind we have, is what is left with us at the end of the day, so when we are all alone, we may feel well or worse, depending on how our mind makes us feel.
Similarities
Well a similar rule applies to people. Different people, different peoples minds, personalities, words, presence in general. Can make us feel like different people. Whether its in a good ,or bad way. It doesn’t always influence on how you behave, its how you feel. Around some, you may feel like yourself, all the good parts about yourself. Some people may make you feel different, strange, not you. While others may just make you feel like a bad person, they may bring out your worse traits or simply: Being around them , make you feel worse, than you actually are.
For the past few days, what ive been observing as for the longest time. Is, Ive always believed that in a friendship, you can either be simply yourself, you an choose to not be, and try and fit in, which can lead to be being influenced to do good or bad things. I believed being around good people made me feel like a better person, and made me do good things. And that bad people made me feel like a bad person and make me do bad things. And while that is partially true, its also about how YOU as an individual, feel around someone.
Example:
For example: when I know, when I feel, I am not liked, I am annoying people around me. I wont speak, I will be more introverted, while me myself, am not an introvert. I may distance myself a lot more, when in reality im mostly a confident person. And from a certain point of view, it seems like common sense. But its different when you are feeling that feeling , of not being yourself. of feeling different.
My best friend, from Poland
I have a best friend, I truly love, from Poland. I met her in 2021, on a polish camp, and shes been close to me ever since. A few weeks ago, I met her again since a year, and the feeling I felt while I was with her was something you feel in a real friendship. Im young I know I may not know a lot about life yet, about friendships, relationships, but this was something, you just know.
A warm, safe, comforting feeling. Something I barely have with anyone else. She supports me in each and every thing I do. She is one of my only friends, who reads my articles, supports me through them. Through each one of my problems, phases. She makes me feel, happy, good, for being who I am. Not by words, no by gifts but its simply something you feel. Something intiution like, something you see by her actions.
The feeling, of a best friend
Around her, I feel accepted, l feel safe, which leads me to fully being who I really am. And this feeling is one hard to describe, because while I may not love each part of myself, or who I am. When being around her, I love who I am. I love each part of me. Because I feel accepted. Like she loves each part of me, good and bad no matter what.
She didnt tell me, she didn’t buy me millions of gifts, but I felt it. She made me feel like she liked being around me. Like she actually wanted to be with me, and who I really was.
And better than any of those things. Its a feeling of acceptance. And I think then, we truly behave like who we really are, but only in the best way possible. Because we know, we feel, we are loved, for each part of us.
Parting ways
I didn’t want to part ways with her, because not only did I enjoy spending time with her, because I too, love her for who she really. Me too, loves spensing each moment with her. Because being around her made me feel, comfort.
But also, because, I think when you spend time with someone who brings out the real, you, the good you. You can never get enough. Becuse you like both who you are with them, and them themsleves. I wish in the future, to find more people like her, because the feeling of someone liking spending time with me, loving me exactly who I am, with or without my flaws, on a good hair day, or bad one, with my pjs, or with a dress, will be something ill forever cherish. Forever cherish friendships, like this one.
My best friend, from childhood
Another example, being a friend, one, I know since we were little. We played in my estate, and we were bestest of friends. We are still friends to this day, and being around her, brings out my inner child. We both laugh like idiots with each other, we sing and dance around, even in public, we can never stop laughing at the most random of things.
The care, we hold for one another
When one is upset, the other takes care of them, always knowing even from the smallest of action. I could simply breath on a bad day, and she would know, something was wrong. Though much has happened to us in the past, telling each other our worries comes with such an ease. With such comfort. She is a person, I know for a fact in a room full of people, and I would be upset, she would come to me.
Even though we may not be best friends like we used to, the tie of our souls, never died out, and I find that beautiful.
She is someone who notices the smallest of details. When we are in a full group of people, and sees me feeling a bit behind, she will grab my hand for comfort. Knowing she is there with me. She realizes things I think no one notices And i do too, she could tell me shes tired, and I would know better than that. Though we hade a period when we didnt speak for years. Crying in one anothers arms, brings us both the same safety it always did.
The feeling, of being cared for
Its that feeling , knowing someone cares, someone cares enough to notice the smallest things, because of their worry of you. Knowing someone likes you for who you are, knowing someone who has seen you through everything, still finds themselves to care and worry, makes you feel accpeted. Makes you feel, like you can be exactly who you are without them judging you for it. And that is what a real friendhsuip is. Its what i strive everyone of my friendships, to be.
Its not who is a good person, who makes you feel good, its not a bad person who makes you feel bad. It is who truly loves you, gives you their time, their energy, their ears to listen to your words. It is who truly accepts you, without ever judging you, is who truly cares.
Its not always about what friend makes you the most gifts, what friends gets you the most expensive gitfs. Its not about which friend says they love you, its not about which friend always compliments you. Because words can be empty of affectione and truth, gifts can hold little or no meaning. Its about which friend, do you know, would choose YOU. It doesn’t have to be the first person, in a room full of people, but would the friend, reach for you? Would the friend comfort you when your sad? Would the friend love you no matter what youve done or said? Does the friend, make you feel loved, cared for, never judged?
My best friend, that isolates
What a friendship, shouldnt do
A friendship shouldn’t make you feel scared, scared to wear what you want, say what you want, feel what you want. A friendship shouldnt make you feel bad for being you. A friendship shouldn’t make you feel like someone you are not.
I have a friend, who makes me feel scared to come into school most days. She doesnt make me feel safe, she makes me feel judged, she makes me feel scared to say a word because of how easily she will take offence. She makes me feel like a bad person, she makes me feel worse, on good days.
The stranger you become, around them
I am an extrovert, however she makes me introvrted. I am usually happy, however she makes me miserable. I talk, she makes me go silent. I am confident, she makes me feel insecure. I feel smart, however she makes me feel as though I am dumb. She doesn’t bring out the bad qualities of myself, she simply makes me feel like a different person, act like a different person, a worse person. Someone lower than her, when in reality, a friendhsip shouldnt have someone “better”.
She doesn’t have a bad influence on me, because she is mature. It is how she makes me feel, it is how she makes me change. I don’t like who I am when im with her. I don’t feel like I can tell her anything. I don’t feel cared for, I dont feel loved. I feel like a chore to her, I feel unwanted.
At everything I am good at, around her, I feel horrible at. She makes everything feel a competition. She makes me feel isolate. She makes me feel lonely, while I speak. She makes me feel stupid, instead of understood. She makes me feel as though I am not enough, as though I am not worthy of a cent.
The beauty, of a real, friendship
A friendship doesnt work like that. Though she feels loved by me, cared by me, accepted by me. I feel the oppoiste. A best friend, shouldnt make you feel isolated, nor judged, a friendship should make you feel on top of the world not drained. A friedship should make you feel understood. A friendship should make you feel appreciated exactly for who you are, not hated.
That is what a friend is, that is what love is, no matter them as a person, if they are a bad person, or a good person. It is do you, feel enough with them, to be you, you, you when your happy , or you when you sad, are yuou not afraid to show you have emotions too? to cry on their shoulders? A friendhsip isnt just for laughs, a friend should be there for the cries too. Not just for the gossip, but your own problems too.
A friendship that makes you feel like you are enough, that you are beautiful, that you are smart, that you are kind, good, the way you are. Sad, happy, angry or fearfull.
That is a friendship, and that is a friendship, worth keeping, for eternity.